I sat in a long meeting today.Tired. 3:00 p.m. Me every bit ready to drift into my happy zone. It was an important meeting in a tiny conference room. with 6 men and one other woman. Really packed. Tight, and you couldnt turn around without stepping on someone's foot. Which I did successfully btw. So no FB sneaking. I was left to my thoguhts to entertain me. Its an art you know, to look deeply interested, while your mind is thinking of the Lebanese boy you saw checking you out in the cafe. Alas, no such luck. Instead, I am forced. Yes. Forced. To write about this flagrant faux pas that even yours truly ashamedly committed atleast twice.
So I sat in this meeting, patiently trying to get through 5 min. When it hit me. A cloud of BO hovering over our heads. I looked around. Panicked. There was no escaping this meeting. No-excuse-me-let-me-get-my-mask-on. I sat there frozen. Breathing in the stench. Yes. The stench. Everybody in the room reeked. No environmentally friendly people with their placards shouting slogans of "Stop Air pollution". Or "We demand clean air". Just me swallowing small spurts of thickly foul scented body odor. I was gasping. If it was appropriate, I would be wildly flailing my arms to get me an oxygen mask. But. No. Such. Protection. For. Poor.ME. Instead, I took it like a man. The worst one hour I have ever spent. Next time, I am going to go in with a lace perfumed handkerchief. And cover my nose.
An old friend has argued repeatedly with me that underneath our fabulous facades, human beings are just animals. And under the right circumstances we would all behave like one. We would hunt, mate and survive based on our corest instincts. From that evolved the animal's core sense of smell which helped them identify who their enemies were and such. I hope somehow this stupid theory has not pervaded our lives. Maybe a memo was sent out for all midlevel managers to collectively stop using deo. How else could I explain this collective defiance of human decency.
Ladies and Gents. Bad BO is a common problem most adults have. Its the food we eat, and the bad chemicals we consume. Even worse are those people that try to hide it under their perfumes. Perfumes do not help BO. If anything they make it worse. Growing up in a hot overpopulated country like India, personal space in a public setting is a luxury. People in buses, trains, and other public transport. Reek. You can tell what people have had for lunch by the way they smell. Garlic. And Onion sweat are the worst.
I have the same problem with the opposite set of folks. Who think dabbing themselves in perfume is actually dousing themselves in perfume. You know what I am talking about. After they leave the entire elevator, your hallway and garage has their smell.
Lets repeat the mantra of success - moderation is the name of the smell game. Unless, you naturally smell like a fresh bouquet of flowers, please please people wear a deodarant everyday. They are all available in different smells. In different sizes. In sprays or sticks. For a buck a piece. I beg of you to please, please invest in one!
