Ho Ho Ho !

I love this time of the year. The beautiful weather, the lovely parties, starting from thanksgiving, there are multiple types of parties too - the pre-thanksgiving party, the thanksgiving lunch, the end of year holiday parties, the office holiday parties, the company holiday party, the christmas party, the new years party. Mind you, each one of these occasions is distinct and special. This also marks the big change in the fashion of the season. New styles in jackets, sweaters, shawls, scarves, vests, boots, stockings and of course the holiday dresses.
This year, me being in a good mood and all, I wanted to put a small twist on my holiday post. First get my angst out, and then write about the holiday trends!
I accompanied one of my dear friends to his company's holiday annual party. I wont mention the company's name, suffice to say that they wont be yodelling any time soon.Get it. "Yodelling". Oh come on! Anyways, the party was really fun, had a vegas theme and all. And all the employees showed up in their party best. Unfortunately, most of them wore some of those clothes, which were only brought out of the closet or the cardboard box in the attic this time in the year, and stored away with the moth balls till another year later. Another year, another christmas, same dress, same holiday jacket, same make-up! Lord, please help. Please deliver us from this evil.
You can tell very easily from the styles. I dont think stores actually sell them anywhere. I actually gagged when I saw a woman in a purple skirt suit. Why? And how?
Another one is highly inappropriate dressing for a holiday party. If you are showing up for your company's annual holiday party, atleast dont show up in a sweatshirt and jeans.
I lost my appetite when I actually saw two of these slightly(ahem) big women, dressed in their Vegas best. Their Vegas Ho best actually. Really short dresses and tons of cleavage. Again, why?
I know that the economy is taking a bad turn and its now perhaps not frugal to invest in special holiday attire. And we do forgive those who sin against us. Dont we?
Instead I am going to turn a new leaf and am going to be positive and hope that the world takes a better turn.
So here goes, the few top trends for this season.
Flats, flats, flats - Ladies, great fabulous news. Flats are back! Big time back. The WSJ claims that it has something to do with the economy. Apparently women are feeling a little down and flats are more with their moods than heels. I rejoice. Not because they are particularly sexy, but because I can then party for hours together without whining every 30 min:) So go all out - the tuxedo flats, the colored glittered sequins flats, the plaid flats and my favorite, nude satin flats!
Socks - Long knee high argyle socks are in. In a big way. The idea is a little borrowed from the female tennis player/golfer look. But they make your legs look really long and have a very nice way of dressing up even the dowdiest of your office wear!
Boots and the skirt/dress - This is one of those timeless fashions. It stays together every season. For some reason, I dont really like the style. I feel if you go slightly wrong with the choice of the length of boot, style of boot, color of boot, it ends up making the calves looking big and bulky rather than slender and sexy.
Argyle sweaters for men - For the boys, I love the look with a plain shirt inside and sleeves rolled up with the argyle sweaters. I think it makes them look really sexy. Make sure that the argyle sweater is in a bright color. Stay away from dark colors like navy blue, black, maroon, red and brown. Also try and buy a pure wool sweater, that way the sweater is not bulky and makes you hide the unseemly stuff pretty easily!
Poofy Jackets sleeves for women - Ladies, more for you. The big poofy sleeved jackets are in. You can invest in a short jacket, a long jacket. Also, stick to the darker shades when doing the poofy.
SJP flowers - Thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City, the big flower brooches are really popular. Pair your old jacket, dress, sweater with a bright or jewelled flower brooch and you have dressed up a dull outfit successfully!
Stockings - I have already written about fishnet stockings in my previous post. Colored American apparel stockings are in. But you have to be very very careful about your choice of stocking color. If you are even a shade off, you may end up looking like an Elf! To wear stockings, wear a short dress, or a longer sweater with stockings and boots. In your entire outfit, make sure that there is only one bright colored item though!!
Bling it up baby! - Anything thats shiny and spangled is in. Hoodies, jackets, purses, shrugs, tank tops, sweaters. Go for it. This is the only time in the year you can wear it without looking like a disco ball!
Happy Holidays Peeps!

Trends or mends?

Ok ok, I know I have lost it. I have let everything take over my vent out! But, I have a new job now, and dont travel as much and I havent been out and about too much to do any fashion policing.
So I decided to compile a list of fashion trends that I have noticed that me and every one else collectively have been puzzled by.

Here goes:

1. Sack Dresses - Sack dresses are those which are short and literally potato-sack like. They have no waist, and produce this baggy but chic silhouette. All the women I know, love 'em. They cover up the flab in all the right places and are different. My guy friends just dont get it though. They have complained and whined and compared them to maternity gowns! So ladies, I leave this call to you, impress the guys or stay with the trends??
2. Crocs - I know this one has been long coming! I wrote a post about it a while ago, but never posted it because it was wayy to obvious. But crocs everywhere, this past summer, drove me up the wall. These are colorful, ugly but supposedly super comfortable, footwear made so your feet could breathe. They come in assorted candy colors. Their stock price consistently shot up as they became more and more popular(much to my utter horror). But I think "Style before comfort" should be on everyone's mantra! You dont want to be caught dead in one of these. Trust me.
3. Candy shop?? - Ladies over 40 shopping in teenager stores! Talk about cradle robbing. I got my LASIK done recently, and the surgery went off well and all, but imagine my trepidation as I was escorted in, for the initial paperwork, by one of the counselors to her office. This attractive late 30s/early 40s lady, dressed like Hannah Montana! Knee-length shorts, a tee, a vest and a cap to boot! I was truly speechless! And responded to her in mono syllables. I was frantically trying to rationalise this scary aberration by looking around in her office to see if there were any signs that could explain this behavior!!
4. Big purses/hobos - I resisted buying one of these for a while and finally did it out of sheer curiosity. Unless you have a newborn, there isnt much to carry in your purse. Maybe a cellphone, a wallet, a compact, coffee mints and a lipstick. But it is one of those confounding trends that nobody really understands. Why is it that we need big giant handbags to carry everywhere. I have got to say though, that the bigger the bag gets, the more junk I seem to fill in it. Now I have everything from last weeks mail to a light snack in my big giant bag.
Another thing thats funny about this trend - the size of the person carrying it. I see tiny, skinny girls carry them, maybe they are trying to highlight their own physical vulnerability! Who knows?
5. Long skirts with slits - Slits in the back, on the sides etc are a strict no-no. This isnt a trend started recently but I decided to rant about it here anyways. I have seen women, 35 and over wear this to work! Its unflattering and totally purposeless. If you think you are sexy by showing the back portions of your calves, its time to think again, and think hard!
6. Fishnet Stockings - Okay, this one is too close. It can vary from looking like a slut to being sexy. There is a very fine line here and you want to be ultra careful while wearing them. My only suggestion here is, ladies, if you hafta wear it, try it with monochromatic dresses.
7. Flourescent visible bra-cups - This one, I have spotted sporadically, at some parties. Here was one pretty young girl, wearing this cute deep necked black dress. Out of nowhere, I saw the tops of her bra-cups in flourescent blue peeping out. I am all for being unique and making a statement. It left me wondering about the statement she was trying to make though! Was she highlighting her assets or lack there-of?? All in all, a trend which needs to be nipped in the bud and heavily castigated me-thinks. Next thing you know, we will have to relive the conical-madonna-bra-era!

High Heel Confidential

Cant help referring you to this great find. For desi celeb Fashions, please check out:

www.highheelconfidential.com

Enjoy!

Song sung blue hue(boo hoo)

Song sung blue
Everybody knows one
Song sung blue
Every garden grows one

Ha! Sorry, folks for the long delay. I know I have been quite remiss in my duties to alert the world of the faux pas I have run into. I just have been a little self-absorbed.
My girl friend and I decided to break the routine a little, and decided to spend our Saturday night people watching at the nearest hotspot. Unfortunately, the latest "hotspot" was quite the misnomer, as the place was anything but. Watching a whole bunch of hoochie mamas, and their entourages for a while, we decided that enough was enough and called it a night. I however, did run into a peeve that I have been meaning to write about since a while. As I was looking around bored and a little tired, from the mindless banter, I saw this "brother" with a white tshirt with a whole bunch of bling, and a pair of blue denim baggy shorts and white white shoes.
Blue Denim Shorts are a strict no-no for men. Baggy Blue Denim shorts are even worse. The men unfortunately, end up looking more like overgrown kids than effortlessly cool and comfortable. Which, I think, is the whole purpose of wearing shorts. The "brother" at the bar, was going for the 50 cent gangsta look. Unfortunately the only crime he committed tonite was showing up in those shorts and acting super nasty. He looked more like he was waiting for the ice cream truck round the corner, than someone who was ready to wack someone off. It cheered me up considerably though. Atleast I had found material for my blog. Unfortunately for me, this wasnt the first time that I was spotting this flagrant mishap.
I have had "man-denim-short" sightings several times over, in the last few years. Surprisingly however, blue denim shorts look really good on women. All varieties of them, the hack-offs, the daisy dukes and the like. I dont know why that is. Another one of those unsolved mysteries.
So please please my guy friends, if you have any piece of blue denim apparel in your closet which doesnt extend all the way to your ankles, its time to rethink your wardobe!

jingle bells, jingle belles

Jingle belles, Jingle Belles all the way
Oh what fun it isnt to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!

I am sorry, I couldnt come up with anything better. But so goes the old christmas carol. or my modification of it. When we women get ready to go out and conquer the world, we want to look our best. And in order to prepare ourselves, we deck ourselves with every conceivable piece of armory that the world has left at our doorstep. The rings, the amulets, the bangles, the bracelets, the earrings, the necklaces, the hair clips, the hair bands and more. Each of these accessories enhances a ladies personality a little more. Adding a little more character to whatever story they are trying to tell. It gives them a certain je ne sais quoi. Making them more tasteful and sophisticated looking.
My peeve is with those ladies who get a little carried away and end up looking more like walking Christmas trees with ornaments. You cant pair giant earrings, with a jingly necklace, and another necklace just in case we missed the first one and a bracelet with charms, and a few bangles . Unless, you are of course getting ready to hawk off some of your wares at the next traffic light. Ladies, please take my advice. Accessories are fantastic. They are God's gifts to woman kind. Please do accessorize, but please do so with caution. Repeat the mantra 'subtlety is the name of the game' before you set out to make this world your smorgasboard.
Au revoir!

Annoucing the Marsupial Times

Ok. Here's where I take offence. My new bff tells me that he thinks my blog is less about fashion and more abt me wanting to diss people anonymously. I scoffed. Of course not. I care. I really care. I am a fan of the famous Keats saying. Well, not really. My point is that sometimes, when I am having less than a good day, it definitely pushes me over the edge. And if I can contribute to this world, by preventing one person from making the faux pas, I would be a better person. Phew. That sounded like a Miss America speech.

I was having lunch at a faux meat place. A place where you can get vegetarian buffalo wings, vegetarian beef and the like. All made of synthetic soy protein. As I was getting through my faux meal where my dear friend made the aforementioned(pfft!) preposterous observation, in walked my long time peeve. This middle aged Indian lady, probably in her early 40s. She walked in wearing something less than a fannie pack and more than a money belt. She was dressed like the quintessential woman of the world. Or what people thought the definition of the 'woman of the world' was, about 20 years ago. She had her hair cut like a man and was dressed like a man too. A shapeless shirt and pleated pants, a tough woman, quite obviously. And she wore, attached to her belt, her quintessential I-am-a-gadget-gal gadget, her cellphone in a leather pouch. *Groan*. I mean , lady, come on! There is such a thing called a purse. There are tons of nice ones, and no its not more important than your comfort and easy access.

Now she is not the only one. I have seen different versions of this. Especially when people are on international travel, and I have even observed this sometimes when I travelled from some GodForSaken places in the MidWest, or down South. People, forever, in the need to be more efficient, carry fanny packs. Both men and women. They carry all their 'important' documents in them. And walk around feeling protected and secure, and may I add, a little foolish. And the best part is that they are usually teamsters. I mean if you see one of these kangaroo like folks, chances are they are more of them lurking around. Sometimes, they move in couples, both husband and wife will be carrying a fanny pack at their waists. I can understand(gulp) if men have to wear them. Men dont have the convenience of carrying a purse, a man bag is too funny and a tad quirky. But ladies, you have no such need. A hand bag, albeit a big one, will do just fine. You can even carry some extra copies and some snack in there if you like.

I know that the demographic of the readers of my blog is fairly young, but I know that years will pass and soon we will be closer to the kangaroo generation, hopefully someone will remember these golden words and spread the word then.

tats - ugly or saxy?

The age old dilemma. From time immemorial, I have wondered whether tattoos are ugly or beautiful. I will admit, without trying to date myself, that growing up, I always thought that they were super cool. Of course, this was also the time when I thought that I would totally have my own motorcycle and go about town riding really fast.
Years have passed, and I have become wiser. With wisdom, came the awareness that there is nothing cool about riding a motorcycle at a 100 mph, and then having all your body parts taped together if you managed to get out alive out of an impending carnage. I would rather be protected by some air-bags. But, saying this, I dont want to jinx all my motorcycle riding pals. Cool looking tattoos go hand in hand with the rebel-with-a-cause look. Of course so do body piercings and dyed hair.
But my particular grievance is with tattoos. Tats, as they are called, are beautiful when you get them done initially. The novelty alone is quite exhilirating. They vary from being elaborate pieces of wearable art on your arms, your back, your naughty bits to simple I-just-want-to-do-it-for-the-heck-of-it ones. After going through the excruciating pain, the satisfaction is pretty short lived. Its only a matter of time , a year or two tops, before boredom sets in, and then old age and then sagging skin set in. Unless of course you are one of those tough biker dudes, whose dating joint is the local watering hole. You can totally attract the right kind of crowd then. Someone called Candy or Sugar.
Whats worse is people wearing them go from being bad-assed rebels to just plain ole tacky hags or hogs. And they are so permanent. They are there to stay. Till death do you part. Or perhaps, till complicated plastic surgery do you part.
Needless to add to that is the accidental oops moment. A tat slipping out when you are in a formal work setting. I maybe exaggerating a little, but I wouldnt trust a manager who had a scorpion tattoo on his shoulder that slipped out at a team event or an employee with a little heart on her lower back.
So, my request to y'all, especially the young ones, think long and hard before you go down this road. Unless you want to be the next Amy Winehouse or are getting ready to visit the old 'Hotel California', please dont get tattoos plastered over your body. And for some reason, if you hafta do it, please try and get a subtle one in some imperceptible place on your body, so it could become a relic soon to be forgotten.

Project Run-away

I know I rant and rave, I bitch and moan about All-things-fugly, but I cant help writing this post. I am an ardent follower of Project Runway and have followed it from the first season. I love the show, love the designers, their quirkiness, their shenanigans, and finally the creativity.
I couldnt resist writing a commentary once I saw tonite's episode. The four finalists are Chris March, Gillian, Rami and Christian. And everyone's been hailing this batch as the most talented of all the seasons. I beg to differ. All four of them are talented. Sure. If we were living 20 years ago, then they would be at the helm of some great fashion revolution. Unfortunately we are living now in 2008, and the whole 80's schtick is really getting to me.
The talented I-am-so-fierce Christian has designed one type of clothing only through the entire season. Every one of his 'fierce' designs through the season have the same nice-day-for-a-white-wedding twist. He always designs the punk rocker jacket with the shoulder pads, always the skinny pants. I mean, come on!! Am I the only one seeing this?
Rami, Rami, Rami. Please get over your grecian draping. Seriously, I dont know what Heidi Klum is applauding constantly. His clothes look dated. I wanted to scream loudly when I saw what he did to the poor 16 year old girl. Her prom dress I mean. Another asymmetric draping making the girl look like an old hag. And thing is, I seriously want to know who goes about wearing clothes like that. Enough already. ALL his clothes look like nice togas from the Roman era. The key word being ALL. And tonight's show with his three looks, I thought they looked extremely dated as well. I think fashion should be about reinvention, so use the concept in a new way. Why present the same old sh**.
Chris March. The over-the-top costume designer. I think the human hair attached to his final looks was the last straw. I dont think he gets it. As they were showing his collection to Tim Gunn, I saw some of the jackets. And I must say, that they were not just mediocre but scary as well. Something I would probably buy if I was living in some castle in Transylvania where no one from the outside world had visited in decades.

And finally Gillian. I must admit that I had serious trepidations when I saw her dress. She is seriously from Like-a-virgin-Madonna-Era. She has got this awful perm, wears ALL the 80s fashion and incessantly wears bright red lipstick, with and without gloss! But her clothes are a little better than the rest. She has some sense of style, proportion, edge and you could see her doing some wonderful things.
What scares me is this - the aforementioned designers are on the show. And I know a lot of people watch it. It scares me to think that people are going to start imitating these fashions in our everyday world. Already, I saw someone today on the streets of San Jose. I mean if it can get to suburbia, it can go anywhere!!
So, please, please people I am begging you to watch the show, and suffer from temporary aphasia, or please watch it for what it is. As entertainment, and not as a beacon to your sensibilities.

Heal the (tech) world!

"Heal the world, make it a better place for you and for me and for the entire human race" - MJ

Continuing in the grand tradition of ranting about the tech world, I have been meaning to write about this particular fauxpas for the last 7 years. Since I didn't have my venting board then, I am going to use this as my big vent out moment.

Years and years of in-breeding have led to the birth of the strong engineering gene. All my friends are engineers and all my friends friends are engineers and so on. Unfortunately, there is no way out of this vicious cycle. Inevitably we seem to feel comfortable with our own kind, and why not? We are simple, straightforward folk, where logic makes a ton of sense and all else seems less important.

Unfortunately, this was more true when I was back in graduate school. You don't have enough money to buy fancy clothing, enough food and have many comforts. We ran to all the uninteresting and interesting events as long as we could smell free pizza. Similarly, I found many of my guy friends, all collecting tons of hanes tshirts at company functions, whether it was to launch a new product or a symposium, or a career fair. Some of my nerdy friends where quite happy with the accomplishment. As my dear friend put it. He had done his years worth of shopping. A compulsive shopper like me, of course, squirmed at such statements. But I did my version of the flip when I found the ubiquitous presence of product and company tshirts at all events since I have started working. At the Christmas party, at the grocery store, at the gym, in Vegas(!) and I finally lost it, when someone wore it on a date.

My main complaint is that these tshirts are not cool, or hot, they invariably never really fit well. They never even look nice when they are worn as under shirts. The best place to where them is when you are out mowing your garden, or cleaning the house, or want to show your loyalty at a company event, or in the nights, when you are going to bed,(even then its a bit of a turn-off) and finally as a rag. Unless, companies start custom making these tshirts with more sense of style and precision, I beg of you to please heed to this blogger's words, and try and make this world a beautiful place.

Heal the world!

the tech woman and her rants

I found this while researching one of my blog entries. (believe me, I research).

http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/12/tech_tshirts_ar.html

Enjoy!

Govinda bolo hari, govinda bolo harry!

Folks, as it turns out that my writing days as a fashionista may soon be ending. I may be out of a job soon , and whatever I do next, I dont think I will be travelling enough to observe the travesties around my fashion world.
I was watching one of the earlier episodes of sex and the city today and there was an episode where Carrie dates a 20 something guy. She stays over at his place, and the next morning tries to get some coffee. As she walks through the world of urban-outfitter candles and the like, she realizes what an utter mistake she has made! The little episode however reminded me of a long forgotten woe, the tye and dye shirt. I know people across the world, are nodding their heads in unison at this one.
The tye and dye shirt is one of those multi-coloured ensembles which started out being trendy and chic in the 70s. The "organic" earth colors connected the phool-children to their Mother. And I bet the pschydelic effect that they created was quite delightful as they sucked in their penny's worth of "fresh air". Unfortunately, the govinda-bolo-harry genre is long out and now we are stuck with the remnants of this coolness.
I have nothing against the paganistic folks, mind you. I just hope that my hippie sisters and brothers will heed to this bloggers' words and stop perpetuating this 'happy' myth.
Colorful puke, we can live without!