I am the Macho Man

If you have ever watched WWE when it was WWF, you may have seen Shawn Michaels or Macho Man come out of the curtains, baring their teeth, long hair and all, trying to intimidate their opponents by yelling all sorts of profanities. And if you observe their clothing, they wear colorful spandex or lycra sleeveless Ts. And in their attempt to intimidate, they tear open their sleeveless Ts.
The point of this long story is that even WWE wrestlers know that these Ts for men are a no-no. Alas, if all the other folks were as conscious!
I have no clue why any grown man show up in public wearing these things. First of all, there is only one use for this thing: for Hot Weather. If its really killing you and its scorching hot, then show up wearing it. Or at the beach, where you can get a sun burn.
In all other cases it should NOT be used.
Young men wearing them as stylish clothing. Middle aged men wearing them over a pair of shorts. Worse yet, their soft tummies kind of protruding out of them. Or people who have absolutely no muscles anywhere on their bodies wearing em. I see skinny asian boys wearing them all the time. Makes me think of Will Farrel in "The Anchorman" where he keeps pointing to his muscle less arms and calling them "the Big Guns".
Worse yet, guys with big muscles wearing these ts. It makes them look obscene, and its like their pushing their machismo in our faces. "Yeah baby, I AM the Macho Man".

Shear Shear baby(?)

This is an SOS to all ya people out there around who time has just frozen. This, mind you is not a compliment. They are in this fashion capsule where they got this cool hair cut, these cool shoes, these plaid jackets and they are hip n happenin. Until.
Until, some years go by, may be some decades but they seem rather unaware of it.
A fine example of the point I am trying to make are people with Mullets. Yes, they exist! They sport these in-between hair cuts - I call them in-between because thats what they are, they are not masculine, the arent feminine, they fall some where well, in-between, completely unaware that life around them has evolved. These are people possibly in their 40s, 50s.
The first time I saw them was at a Def Leppard concert about two years ago. I was stunned. I thought may be they were all collectively pulling a fast one on me. With mullets, leather jackets and leather pants and all. Apparently not.
I ran into these Mullet people again in Chicago. There they were. Confident. Loud laughter. And the best part was they seemed to stick together. Isnt it strange, that when you find one person with a bad hair cut.. All the other friends the person has seem to have equally bad haircuts as well?
Please people...mullets when out when Vanilla sky did..And that was a long time ago. Therez nothing wrong with enjoying good times..but sometimes the good times are best left as good memories. Its time to move on.

Your Janitor's best friend - the mop

Its me again folks! the fashionista...
Today as I was sitting in the shuttle from Phoenix airport terminal to rental car terminal my fashiondar set off..I actually had goose bumps before I even turned my head. The classic perm. Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" as a hooker with the wet perm look and the shaggy eyebrows actually looked hot. But ladies, lets just face it. She is Julia Roberts, you are not.
The wet perm look is gone...It just reminds one of a wet mop. The janitor in your building probably has better use for it.
What irks me more is that the perm is badly done. And then, they use these shiny hairsprays. As if their mop is not quite enough, they have to rub it into your face by making it shiny, and stiff as if trying to say - here, take it, this is me.
The mop, ladies, is OUT. Please let it stay where it looks best - in the closet. Let your hair takes it natural course. The way the almighty intended..

Mom Jeans

I was watching the reruns of the ever-famous "Friends". Jennifer Aniston before her fashion diva status committed this flagrant error and looked bad in it - waist down. She wore "Mom Jeans". Mom Jeans are jeans that were popular in the late 80's and early '90s. These are the jeans which begin at your stomach and cover it all from there on. I think the idea was to cover up the stomach area with some hard denim cloth to make the women look slimmer. Unfortunately, the flab is tougher to conceal even by denim....if you get me drift.
You need pilates/yoga/or those hard crunches which will help you get rid of it. And trust me..that apart from lipo suction is the only way to get rid of your flabby tummy and abdomen without spilling over.
Unfortunately, while the youngsters have caught on..there are still mommies who were young once and wearing those denims were hip back then, continue to be a major eye sore in these fashion no-nos.
Again. The best place to find them is airports. They are all over the place. Spotting even one of them can spoil your journey:)..okay i am exaggerating. But its still very very bad.
Please ladies..burn those jeans, and tell your friends who have them too to BURN them?
Here's to low waist denims...

Look out Abercrombie and Fitch

I travel a lot because of my work and hence I am in the cornucopia of the best runway to showcase fashion(or the lack of it) in this world - the airport.
I have a grievance against men 27 and above wearing tight Abercrombie and Fitch tshirts. Men, just a piece of advice - by bearing your breasts out(have you seen their nipples sticking out of those tight tshirts?)..you are not going to look any younger. You can pretend all you want. But thats the truth.
Which makes me wonder-Did you ask the mirror on the wall before you left home? "Who is the youngest of them all".
I want to look in the psyche of these people. They must be deeply insecure or they must be schiziophrenic. The first one because you are making an attempt to pretend to be someone you are not. These are the same guys who will ride skateboards to work. Or wear accessories - shell necklaces(you wore in the spring break in the '90s). or maybe show off their cute boxers from the back of their low low cut jeans.
Schiziophrenic-because all this makes sense to him because his sense of reality is defined by himself, and therefore he perceives his sense of style to be in perfect sync with the rest of his world. Or even better, he does'nt care.
Then there is the third kind - People who dont give a shit about what the world thinks. They want to do their thing. I admire this kind..but something tells me that they are few and far between.
It confuses poor souls like me who brand your clothes with your personality.
So next time you wear your A & Fs outside..just remember what you want to convey to the world out there.