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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

VPL - Visual public lewdness

A friend from a past life once told me that his biggest turn on was VPL. Apparently, his wife actually points these out to him when they are out in public. VPL, to us ignoramuses, is an abbreviation for Visual Panty Lines.
It has affected women since time immemorial. Before a woman gets out of the house, the one thing she does check for are these excruciating yet unscrutable details - which is the visual panty lines. Especially when she is wearing those snugly pants or the arch nemesis the white pants. And thus was born the invisible panty line - the thong. Women wear this uncomfortable piece of cloth to make invisible the panty line. My sympathies to them.
Why is it that men never ever seem to have this issue? Why dont men have VPLs?
I am confused about my stand on the issue though.
On a whim, I surveyed some of the men I know about their stand on this issue. I classify the men into three types - the-ones-whose-opinion-matters, the perverts and the inconsequentials.
The Towoms are guys who have a reasonable attitude towards all mankind. They are open minded, sensible kind of guys. The ones most women like to go out with, but cant really seem to find.
The Perverts are guys who have an X-Ray machine in their heads and probably X-Ray every woman in their spectrum. They probably even x-ray their neighbors grandmom.
The inconsequentials are guys whose opinion doesnt really matter. You dont even care if they cease to exist.
So I did a surveyed my Towoms. And guess what ladies! therez good news.
They were surprised that women even care about these things! They said they never check out women's butts and go - "Ooops! she is wearing a panty!".
So ladies, relax, next time you get out dont get too frenzied if you have a VPL.

1 comment:

DollHouse said...

I went to Doll House and had the worst experience of my life. I ordered a dress 3 months before my formal and it didn’t come in. she told me the dress was customized but was told a week before my formal that they could not do it and was told to chose another dress from the shop which upset me as I had my heart set on the dress I ordered. Thank you Doll House for destroying my only formal it was the worst time.